Love for your parents should be unconditional because parents love unconditionally. They have put your needs before their own. You’ve watched them put the bigger fried fish in your plate while they’ve taken the smaller one. They’ve left priority work at the hands of their angry bosses when you needed to be picked up sick from school. Whenever they’ve felt like giving up, they’ve not because they’ve wanted you to lean on their reliable shoulders. They have stayed up late; waiting for you to come back home from that suspicious party you went to.
How can parents love unconditionally?
Depends on the degree of love your parents have for you. And their love is unconditional to a finish line that you can’t even see. A couple becomes parents for the first time. They are not given a handy manual for parenting. They’re left with a number of ideas; some are self-generated out of the flight-or-fight response. While some come from good-intentioned near and dear ones.
Parents love unconditionally because there is this unbelievable connection that they feel towards you. You feel it too but that takes time to realize. Sometimes their methods are crude and they don’t mean to be rude. Yet, they look like the villains of your life. Not letting you come home too late, not letting you wear that revealing dress, not letting you utter those abusive words. Parents have your best interests at heart but they certainly don’t make it look that way. Having love for your parents is difficult at those times but you have to try and understand why they are the way they are. Ask them to share the reason with you and try to put yourself in their shoes. Envision the consequences of your own actions. Easier said than done!
Being an angry kid
When I was a kid, I was angry all the time. I was Hulk and I used to hit my dad, like scratch him. I would hit his shoulder with my fist when he would try to carry me, his youngest daughter. He used to take it calmly and then stop me. I used to cry, I used to scream. I was unbearable but my dad was patient. He used to endure my tantrums after coming home from a long hard day’s work. His boss was a difficult one to deal with; he used to humiliate my dad. When my dad came home, I would welcome him with my fist on his back because that’s where I could reach him. Like I said, parents love unconditionally because my dad took my tantrums like a champ.
Why was I like that? I don’t know but I was always angry and it took me a few years to calm down. But my dad and I always look back and laugh. He always reminds of the time I would pierce my fingernails into his fingers. It was painful. I would do that when he would carry me. I don’t know why I ever did that!
Being the sick kid
There was a time when I was extremely sick with the stomach flu. I was vomiting like a volcano. My mother was running around the house, trying to make me comfortable. She kept turning up with relieving remedies but it wouldn’t help. We ran out of plastic bags for me to vomit in. Yet, another round of vomiting was about to begin. There was no time to fetch a bag. As I was about to vomit, my mom did the unthinkable. She put her hands forward to collect… you know what. It was gross for her but she never showed a disgusting expression.
I cried after that because of my mom’s selflessness. Her unconditional love would turn even the devil into an angel. She could melt stones because parents love unconditionally and I can never stop saying this!
When Parents love unconditionally but look like villains
“It’s difficult to raise you up because you have so many demands.” A parent will never say that or maybe they just might out of spite. Parents are humans too, they get angry and they certainly weren’t born parents. They were born as babies, turned into toddlers and then into whining kids just like you and me. They had demands, they were stubborn, they broke stuff but they were corrected too. When they became mom and dad, that’s when they realized how much love they have in them for you.
When a parent corrects you, it’s almost always for your own good. Sometimes, they just get it wrong but hey, they’re human, remember? They’ve got the best or worst of worlds, good and bad alike. Give them a break, they’re new at this but no one is stopping you from talking about your feelings. After that storm of an argument with your parents, you can always tell them how it made you feel. How their words made you feel bad or why you acted out the way you did. Your parents would like to know so they can help you. Having love for your parents is difficult at times as mentioned before because a parent-child relationship can often be tough.
It is difficult to open up and if you’re a child, it is even more difficult to express your emotions. You just don’t know how to show what you feel. The only thing, you might know is to slam the door in their faces, or turn your back on them. When things settle down, that is the most productive time of getting to know each other. It’s not easy but when you try, it just might tighten loose ends. But parents love unconditionally; they’ll let you have the first word.
When a kid becomes the parent
The tables turn when you grow up. Your parents have aged to a point of no return. So now, you know that karma sits at the table. Parents love unconditionally but when they get cranky, they’re stubborn. They don’t want to sacrifice anymore and they’re angry, so get ready for some tantrums thrown your way. They’re angry with the world, they’re moody and oh so moody. You might get blamed for something you didn’t mean to do or didn’t even do at all. But hey, that’s what parenting is all about, taking the entire load or…blame.
The question is can you be what your parents were for you for all those years? You can! Take it as a practice session for when you become parents. Maybe you already are parents to kids just like you. Nonetheless, you have to take the reins and steer the parenting ship, wherever the winds take you. Love for your parents isn’t a smooth sail. It’s easy because you have shared bond-building moments with them. However, when the seas become violent, it takes patience to endure. Remember the time your parents acted like adults when you were kids? They did it willingly because they loved you. So, it’s time you love them back with all your heart. They want you to spend time with them, to love them, to compliment them, to say thank you.
When parents love unconditionally but are ill-treated by their children
There are several cases of parents being ill-treated by their children. This is a sad and prevailing situation that needs to be eradicated. It’s an evil of society. Parents are the backbone of love and we should in all circumstances, love them for being who they are. It’s no easy feat being a parent. It takes guts to go through parenthood with a lot of sleepless nights. Not to mention, the parents falling sick themselves but still waking up to do stuff for you.
Your love for parents matters. Why? Because it just does. When you read about people murdering their parents for property or other silly reasons, it just breaks your heart. Parents don’t deserve anything short of your love. Unfortunately, many children forget what it is like to love unconditionally.
There are some kids who will love their parents to the moon and back, while there are those who kill for selfish reasons. Whoever is out there plotting to hurt their parents, please stop!
Doing what your parents like doing
Now, this is not easy. Parents love unconditionally but does this mean that you have to love what they do? Not at all! You can, however, do what they love doing but with them. Spend some quality time with them Watch their favourite sports match or help cook with them. Your parents and you might not get along, while at times, you might hit it off together. However, they might fancy some Hindi drama shows or maybe some sport that you find boring. As a result, you leave them to it. Let them enjoy alone. Don’t do that. Sometimes, not all times, but sometimes, sit with them and do what they love doing. It’s called bonding.
There were times when watching you as a kid play with those toy blocks put a smile on their faces. Today, do their favourite thing with them and make it count. Word of advice – try not to force it on them.
When you have to correct your parents
This is the worst part, especially if you have a short temper. Try not to shout at them. In fact, don’t shout at them at all. They may not know how to use that complicated gadget called the android. The digital apps of today which we ironically blame for the great divide among people. Today, we have to teach our parents how to use them. Use that time to bond with them!.
Wouldn’t you devise creative ways to teach a child. Now, use the same technique to teach your parents. It’s difficult to start your laptop, not for you but for them. Be patient because they were patient when they were teaching you how to say a word. You think it’s easy to teach a child? Try it when they’re constantly throwing food on the floor or biting your arm in anger. At least, your parents won’t do that. But yes, they will ask the same question repeatedly. Calm down! Take a deep breath and start over. Remember, parents love unconditionally, so should you.
When Parents encourage you
When parents love unconditionally, they mean it. Big or small, whatever you do, your parents will always encourage you. They’ll either praise you or they’ll express that you can do it better. Either way, that’s called encouraging. It’s because they want you to do it easily when they’re gone. It’s their way of reassuring themselves that when you lead your independent lives, you will have no task too big to handle.
Parents hug you; they’ll cheer you and let you stay angry at them for days. They will wait for you to calm down but they won’t say a word to let you down. It is still difficult to understand their love because their love is unconditional. And where love is unconditional, there is no room for staying angry or plotting revenge.
Homes where marriages are broken
This will throw off everything I have mentioned so far. Here, love is unconditional but it never really comes out in that way. The entire paradigm of a family being united is thrown out the window. Broken families include broken members, disbelief in the ordinary order of life. To be honest, there is no ordinary order of life but watching a marriage go bad can heavily and negatively impact a child. So, the child sees his or her parents fight, throw things around and insult each other. This will lead the child into believing that marriage is, in fact, a sham.
Often when couples fight, they fight over small issues because they are avoiding the elephant in the room. I am no expert to understand their complicated situations but I have been witness to their arguments. Unconditional love here takes a lot of time and a lot of patience and mind you, it is not easy. Every individual is different. They dress differently and they perceive things their way. How difficult will it then be to get them to live with each other under one roof? Phew! There’s a scary answer to it. It’s downright impossible to get two people of different values to love each other. Yet, there are some families who manage to stick together through thick and thin. Some even manage not to kill each other.
Nevertheless, for a child to love their parents even though they feel no love at home, it’s difficult. The rest then just depends on the child. Will the child grow up to love his or her parents? Or, will the child simply drift away into their own set of beliefs? Even worse, the child will expect the same from their marriage and find it quite normal to not love each other. Tough!
Love your parents with all your heart
They’re family and they are your parents. Love them not by giving in to every demand but by simply being there for them. Supporting them in times of loneliness and in times of self-doubt. Encourage your parents, cheer them, do for them what they did for you and by that I mean, make them breakfast, cook some meals a few times in a week. It will make them feel so good and blessed to have you.
So, at the end of it all, you know that parents love unconditionally. What they deserve from you is your love in the same measure. Do drop in your comments and what you think about your love for your parents.